Ashley's Diary
by Ashley Hammond Astro Yellow
Summary: Ashley writes in her diary after some heartbreaking events. Will things keep going wrong or will the tide turn and mend her broken heart?
1. 28 June

A/N: This story was inspired by C.A.Elenath's _'Wanting You Near'_. It's the first Power Ranger fic I've ever written and I never really had the intention to publish it, just some writing to pass the time and I never quite finished it. I came across it when I was transferring files to my laptop and still didn't do anything with it, but now I decided to finally finish it and share it with you all.

I should give some explanation about this AU, for there won't be any A/N's or anything in the story itself;

Kimberly Hart and Ashley Hammond are cousins. They used to get along great, but got into a fight not long after Kimberly sent Tommy The Letter. Ashley was born in Angel Grove, but her mother died after giving birth, so her father decided to move. He married Marie when Ashley was 5, but she died in a car crash two years after giving birth to their daughter Shannon. Ashley was eight by then. Again Ashley's father remarried, this time to Sarah. When Ashley was 10, Anna was born. They didn't move back to Angel Grove until after Kim left. The other rangers know about Kim having a cousin called Ashley and the other way around, but non ever made the connection between the two.

The reason behind The Letter will be in this fic, though it's the same as most other writers and some things in the fic will disagree with reality, but hey, it's an AU.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story. Though I must warn you, the chapters aren't very long.

Oh, one more thing I'm almost forgetting: NOT MINE!

On with the story: 

28 June

Dear Dairy,

I can't believe this is happening to me, it just ain't fair. First I'm late, so I make a doctor's appointment and tell Andros I might be pregnant. He was happy when I told him, even if it wasn't sure yet. He never even got to know I really am pregnant, he got shot two days before my appointment. In hospital they had him on life-support. As I said two days later was my doctor's appointment and I found out I really am pregnant. When I got home Zhane and Karone were waiting for me. Zhane said I'd better sit down. I did and he told me the doctors gave up on Andros and would terminate his life in 78 hours. I told them I couldn't stay on KO-35, not with this baby coming and Andros ... I mean, it was Andros home planet, so naturally everything there would have reminded me of him. I couldn't go back to Angel Grove either, there is too much to remind me of him there. Zhane and Karone wouldn't let me go alone because of my pregnancy. The only one I could think of to turn to was Kim, even though she wasn't talking to me, I had to try. She was more then happy to help me and forget about our fight. A short conversation between her and Coach Schmidt got us a home in the dorm apartment Kim shares with Renee and a job as assistant coaches. Karone and I work with the gymnastics team and Zhane works with the martial arts team. I would have worked with the martial arts team too, but I don't want to endanger my baby. The Olympics are in about 5 and a half month, I'll be 6 months through then. I don't know if I can take this, but I'll try. If there is a God out there, please give me the strength to get through this.

Love,

Ashley


	2. 5 July

5 July

Dear Dairy,

It's been a week since my last entry and things have settled down a bit. Kim and Renee had a spare bedroom in their apartment, which they donated to Zhane and Karone. Kim gave her room to me and now she and Renee are sharing a bedroom. Most of Kim's stuff is still in "my" room, but I told her to leave it. The only thing that has been removed is her bed and a queen-sized one for me replaced it. I told them it was way too big for me, but they told me that once my pregnancy was going to be showing I would be thanking them. Zhane and Karone have a queen-sized bed too and I can't help but envy them, because they have each other to share it with. The girls in the gymnastic team are really supporting and one, Georgia, told me to keep faith. Her father was on life-support once and the doctors were going to terminate his life too, but before they got the chance he showed shines of improvement and he pulled through. The chance is small, but Andros might still be alive and recovering. I really want to believe that, but I find it so hard to, just like the other rangers and my family still don't know we're back. None of us can bring up the courage to call, we can't even get it over our lips that Andros is..... Oh you get the point. There is a bright side to us coming here, though. Trevor has been laying low and Kim is really relieved about that, but I don't think it will take long, as soon as he find out about my baby (the martial arts team doesn't know) he'll probably begin to beat Kim up again and I'm scared that if anyone tells he'll hurt my baby, I don't see why he wouldn't. Please don't let anything happen to my baby. It's all I have left.

Love,

Ashley


	3. 12 September

12 September

Dear Dairy,

Time seems to fly by. It's been two and a half month since we got here. I know I should have written during that time, but I've just been too busy with training during the day and after that I'm exhausted. Today is my day off so I have time to get this up to date. Everything has settled into a daily routine. I get out of bed, have breakfast, dress, go down for training, coach, have lunch, coach, have dinner and crash. At least that was my daily routine until today. Today I'm exactly 3 months through and morning sickness has kicked in, isn't it great? Well, I think it sucks. I can forget about breakfast from now on. I get nauseous at the thought. Coach Schmidt says I don't have to start with the team and just rest as much as I can, but I just can't, at least not yet. Every night my dreams are filled with images of Andros making me wake up at 4 in the morning and I'm not able to go to sleep after that. To be honest, it's not bordering me at all, what really is bothering me is that we still haven't been able to call the others or my family. Kim has cut herself of from our family after Trevor forced her to sent Tommy that letter, so she can't call and tell them, there would be too many difficult questions. I don't blame her though, it was her mother who forced her to go on a date with Trevor anyway. Lucky for us Trevor is still laying low. Maybe he's sacred of Zhane or something, but I really don't think this will last much longer. I've started to wear over-sized shirts, because my pregnancy is beginning to show. It isn't noticeable yet, but if you look close enough (which is really, really close and you would have to know it too) you can see. Please don't let anything hurt this baby, I already started to love it so much.

Love,

Ashley


	4. 17 September

17 September

Dear Dairy,

My first full night sleep after that horrible day. I woke up at 8 in the morning today. I guess I'm making progress, because my last entry was 5 days ago. I'm glad coach said I could start whenever I want, because training started at 7. Lucky me the martial arts team trains in a different gym, else Trevor might begin to suspect something. God I hate having to watch out for him, no scratch that, I just hate HIM.. Anyway, it took me an hour to get ready (thanks to that 'wonderful' thing called morning sickness), but nobody seems to mind. The first thing I ate today was at lunch, but it's been like that for 5 days. For the first time I caught myself thinking about how my baby is going to look like and I found I was hoping he or she will take after Andros. I hope he or she has his hair and eyes and nose and every other feature. I hope he or she will be as open and loving as Andros sometimes was. I hope this child will love life the way Andros could and I hope that one day we can return to KO-35, because that is where we belong. I know that now, but for now it hurts too much to return. I have to return to Angel Grove first and face the people there. I hope I can find the courage to do that, but first of all I have to keep my promise of helping coach Schmidt and the gymnastic through the Olympics.

Love,

Ashley.


	5. 25 September

25 September

Dear Dairy,

Coach said I should start looking for a doctor right about now. If the Megaship Mark II had been finished I would have had DECA to take care of that, but no I'm not that lucky. Kim and Karone both offered to go with me. I must say I really appreciate Kim's offer, but I probably won't take her up on it. Karone on the other hand isn't so lucky. I don't want to go alone. What if something is wrong with my baby? What if he or she won't make it? I know I wouldn't be able to take that. I can't lose another person I love this much. I'm not going to let anyone or anything hurt this baby. This evening Zhane and I had the apartment for ourselves. Kim and Renee were to the movies with a few friends and Karone was talking about the trainings session for tomorrow with coach Schmidt, so I asked him if he could tell me some Kerovan names, because I want my child to have a Kerovan name. If it's a boy I'm tempted to name him Andros, but it would hurt too much to name our son like that, maybe I'll use Andros as a middle name, but it has to be Kerovan no matter what. I'll make sure he or she knows about KO-35 and how brave his or her father was. I'll tell him or her about every monster we faced, how we met, how we found Karone, but above all else, I'll make sure he or she knows how much Andros would have love him or her.

Love,

Ashley


	6. 12 October

12 October

Dear Dairy,

Why me? Kim and I went to the doctor today. I know I said I wouldn't take her up on her offer, but I just couldn't take Karone, I didn't know why, but I just had a feeling I couldn't take her. Now I know why. My god I still can't believe it. How am I ever going to cope now? I was so scared that there might be something wrong with my baby I didn't even think about other possibilities. I didn't have any indication something might have been wrong, but I know for sure that when Marie was having Shannon and Sarah having Anna their bellies weren't as big after four months as mine is now. I should have noticed before, but for some reason I didn't. I do now though and I know why too. For some reason, who ever is out there thought it was funny to give me a twin, A TWIN. I'M PREGNANT WITH A TWIN! I was scared of having one baby, but two? I'm glad Kim was with me, because I seem to have spaced out after hearing I'm going to have a twin. Kim listened to everything that was said and will go over it with me tomorrow. I can't even remember going home, but I haven't been coaching today, that's for sure. All I know from that blur in my memory is that both babies are healthy. That's all I care about right now. I decided I don't want to know what sex they are. I also decided I'm going to Angel Grove before these two are born, so I'll have to go almost immediately after the Olympics. What am I getting myself into? Please help me.

Love,

Ashley


	7. 13 October

13 October

Dear Dairy,

During lunch Kim told me everything the doctor said yesterday, most of it was just bullshit or things I already knew, but there was some useful stuff in there. The training session was mostly the normal routine, so I didn't really need my attention with it. That was good, because I couldn't keep my attention with it anyway. My attention was drawn to the babies in my abdomen. How am I supposed to bring up two children at once? I know Zhane and Karone will help me with that, but it still scares me. During dinner in the apartment Zhane asked what was wrong, because I was quiet. I've become more quiet and withdrawn since that one day and they know that, but Zhane found me even quieter than I was before, so I had to tell them. Boy were they shocked, but what really bothered me was that I couldn't keep tears from falling. I don't know why it hurt so much to tell them or maybe it was just all the emotions catching up with me. Karone pulled me in a hug and told me it would be okay, but we both know it will never be okay, not without Andros. I wish he was here. That's something I'm catching myself wishing lately. Why can't he be here? Why does my life have to be so screwed up?

Love,

Ashley


	8. 26 October

26 October

Dear Dairy,

As if it wasn't enough already Coach Schmidt told us people wanted to make a TV-program about the training of the Olympic athletes. That means we'll be in it too. That means that if anyone from Angel Grove watches (what they surely will) will know we're here. If they know we're here, they'll tell my family and friends. They will want to check if it's true and watch too. When they see us they will wonder where Andros is and why we never said we were here. I thought my life was screwed enough already, but I guess I was wrong. I didn't object to the suggestion though. I think it might even do me good. I mean IF people from Angel Grove watch and IF they tell and IF we're found out, surely someone will contact us, that might just make it easier for me to move back to Angel Grove, right? But how am I going to explain? Will I be ready to? What if the wrong people watch? People who want to hurt the Power Rangers? What if they will hurt my babies? Even with my over-size shirt on it's obvious I'm pregnant now. The martial arts team has noticed and all of them (minus Trevor) have wished me luck. So now my fears are growing. I'm scared of Trevor and Kim knows I am. Now I know how she must feel. I can't lose my babies. Please don't let anything happen to them. Please just get me out of this mess, because I think Trevor is going to beat Kim up again very soon, I just can feel it. Heaven help me.

Love,

Ashley


	9. 5 November

5 November

Dear Dairy,

The TV-crew has arrived. They won't start filming until the 10th and the first two episodes are going to be about the martial arts team, but I'm really getting nervous. Zhane has asked if he can help out with the gymnastics team when they start filming and coach said it was alright. We all know why he asked and we all know it will happen sooner or later, but right now, we're all trying to make it later and as late as possible. I hope that whatever happens I get to talk to Cassie first of all. Talking to her is just a lot easier than talking to anyone else I know who isn't here at the moment. Cassie will be patient and understand. TJ will to, but talking to Cassie is easier. Carlos, on the other hand, will probably flip. We used to be so close and we told each other almost everything, but I guess we kind of grew apart, but who can blame us? Earth isn't my home anymore, not really. KO-35 is. I can do telekinesis and talk to Zhane and Karone (and, before that day, Andros) telepathically, Carlos can't, he's psy-blind. I'm different from the girl he became friends with. We're still friends, there's no doubt about it, just not as close as we used to be and I'm scared that, because of that, he won't understand my decision. I'm so scared. If it wasn't for the life inside me, I would have tried to kill myself so I wouldn't have to face all of this, but these two have a right to live and they may grow up without their father, but I won't let them grow up without their mother too. I have to hold on.

Love,

Ashley


	10. 11 November

11 November

Dear Dairy,

I can't believe those guys. They decided to put in the gymnastics team today. I was planning to take a day off tomorrow to mentally prepare myself for this, but no, they don't care about other people's feelings and fears. All they care about is their stupid program. But it doesn't stop there, it gets worse. All gymnasts must have a sweatshirt or something like that with them during the training and competitions, to keep their muzzles warm if they take a break or have to wait for their turn. I think it's great, but it so happened that Kim couldn't find a sweatshirt today. I woke up early enough to start training with the team, so I helped Kim look for something to wear. The only thing we could find was a white with green sweatshirt stuffed away in a box with the three stuffed animals Tommy gave her and every other thing that reminded her of him (I knew she still loved him), so just our luck, it used to be Tommy's sweatshirt and now she might have been on TV with it. Trevor has gone crazy, it was obvious, but he hasn't beaten her up yet, probably because Zhane has been with her. Luckily she didn't have to train in sight of the camera, I don't know what would have happened if Tommy would have caught her like that on TV. I truly hope non of the cameras caught her. To make matters even worse, I was wearing a sweatshirt which showed my pregnancy, it was over-size, but one of the smaller ones. I haven't heard anything from anyone yet, but I don't think it will be like that too long. What am I going to do?

Love,

Ashley


	11. 12 November

12 November

Dear Dairy,

My life is saved! I still progressing today's events, but one thing's for sure, I'M NOT ALONE ANYMORE! Georgia was right after all. Andros pulled through and told me the whole story. It was just like Georgia said, the doctors were just about to terminate his life when improvement showed. They decided to see if it was just that or if he really was going to pull through and he did. The doctor's tried to reach us after they were sure he would survive, but they couldn't, so they just had to wait and see how things turned out. Andros has been in coma up until 3 weeks ago. After he woke up he heard we were gone and he wanted to go after us right away, but he had to stay in hospital for 2 more weeks. He told me he was going crazy in there. He was lucky the doctors made him stay, because once he got out the Megaship Mark II was just finished. He could run the test flights and after that he didn't know how fast to get it to earth. He arrived yesterday and went to Angel Grove, figuring that we might be there and if we weren't, maybe they knew where we were. The others were shocked to find him there and, after hearing our story, sad to tell him they had no clue. It hurt him so much. Everybody felt for him, because all earth's rangers, except the four of us here in Florida, were present at the Surf Spot, where he found them. Fait was good to him, though, because Adele had turned the TV on after she found out a girl from Angel Grove was in the Olympic Gymnastics Team and they were on TV. Cassie's eyes were the ones that wondered to the screen and caught side of Zhane and Karone. Every ranger's eyes were fixed on the TV, hoping for a glimpse of me, you can guess what happened next. I was talking to Coach Schmidt when the camera caught us from the side, so my tummy was very visible. Andros knew I might have been pregnant, but he totally forgot about it. Well he got back at me for that. I slept late today and when I came down the stairs of the dorm to go to the gym, he was standing in the main hall. I thought I saw a ghost. Anyway, as soon as he had recovered for the shock, he didn't know how fast to get to me. He wanted to catch me without a camera nearby, so he had to wait for the next morning. All other rangers would wait on the Megaship, they'll come tomorrow. I promised to stay until after the Olympics, so I can't leave here yet. Andros said it didn't matter, because he wasn't going to be anywhere else than by my side. Isn't he a sweetheart? Today was the TV-turn of the martial arts team again, so I could just walk normally into the gym. I asked Coach Schmidt very loudly if he could use some more help. I don't think I've seen Zhane and Karone make funnier faces than when they saw Andros. Well, coach could use all the help he could get. I immediately informed him some of our friends were coming over tomorrow. They didn't come today, because they thought it would be better to let Andros go alone, since we all thought he was dead. My bed is a lot more comfortable now I can share it with him again, but I still have to tell him I'm getting twins. How in gods name am I going to do that?

Love,

Ashley


	12. 13 November

13 November

Dear Dairy,

For the first time in 2 months I just woke up and could enjoy the warmth, which means NO MORNING SICKNESS today. I was so great waking up in Andros arms again, I can't believe I made it through all this time without it. To bad I woke him up by nuzzling closer to him. I knew that if I didn't tell him then I wouldn't be able to tell him myself, so I told him we were having twins. At first he didn't move and I admit I was getting scared, but then he told me we could do this, as long as we are together. Only now I know how scared I really was about having twins. Well, no morning sickness meant I could have breakfast with the others for the first time in 2 months, it felt great. The morning training was nothing special. The TV-crew had decided to throw in another day with the martial arts team. During lunch the other rangers came by. I can't believe nobody saw Kim in Tommy's sweatshirt, for some reason, they didn't see her at all, but I kept an eye on her. I just had a feeling something was going to happen and I was right. She had forgotten something from the apartment and went to get it. I kept my eyes on the door of the mess hall longer than necessary and it was good I did, because I saw Trevor sneak through them. Mentally I told Zhane to check on Kim, so he excused himself and left. Not long after he told me to get someone up there as soon as possible, he was fighting Trevor after the guy attacked Kim. I yelled to coach that Kim was in trouble in our apartment, so everybody stormed of. We were following when Zhane asked if I could bring an ice-pack. When we arrived at the scene we had to worm our way through the crowd. Inside Kim was wrapped in Renee's arms and Zhane and Trevor were held by members of the martial arts team. One of Zhane's eyes was turning a nasty shade of purple, so I gave Karone the ice-pack and she put it on his eye. Since he wasn't struggling he was released for the hold the two guys had on him. Renee was answering coach question, because Kim didn't seem to be able to. When he asked how long it had been going on Renee said she didn't know, so I told him the exact date. It didn't take long for Tommy to figure out it was his Kim and since everybody had to start training again (and Trevor had to be taken to the police), Tommy took Kim from Renee's arms and said he'd comfort her and she should go back to the gym. Renee recognized Tommy from the pictures Kim had showed her, so she left with the rest of us. Tommy and Kim deserved some privacy. The next time we saw them was 2 hours later and Kim was nuzzled against Tommy's side (Tommy and Kat had broken up when Kat left for London), they were back together again. I can't believe things are finally going my way.

Love,

Ashley


	13. 14 November

14 November

Dear Diary,

I knew it. I knew it would happen. All the rangers are hanging around here for a while, so I was able to catch up with my friends about what had happened during the time we had lost contact. Everything seemed to be fine. Cassie was telling about her band and the success they were having in Angel Grove and the surrounding cities. TJ told about his getting accepted at college with a baseball scholarship and having met this really nice girl named Tessa. (I believe somebody has a little crush.) So, as you can see, nothing has changed between us, just like I thought. Carlos on the other hand is a totally different story. He was mad about me not contacting him the moment this whole ordeal started. He didn't seem to understand how scared, hurt and confused I was at that time. The worst thing was that he didn't even wanted to listen to my explanation. Adam said he is just hurt because I turned to Zhane and Karone for help and not him. That idiot doesn't even realise turning to Zhane and Karone was only natural, since they were there. They knew exactly what was going on without me having to explain anything to them. They pick up on my feelings much easier than he ever did. I have no clue how the hell I'm going to get out of this one. On a brighter note, Andros asked me if I thought about names for these babies already. I told him I had been interrogating Zhane about Karovan names, since there is no way one of these babies is going to have an earth name. Andros laughed at that reply and asked me what names Zhane had come up with. God, I don't think I've ever seen Andros laugh that load when I told him. Zhane had presented me with the most corniest names on the planet. Apparently he seemed to have decided to play one more joke on Andros. Naturally I asked Andros about a bit more acceptable names, for I never even considered using the names Zhane gave me. There were some pretty cure ones in the list of names Andros rattled of. He even confined in me his parents had been temped to call him Breck, it means freckled, for as a baby he had freckles. Can you imagine? Andros with freckles? It's been a while since I laughed that hard. Andros pretended to look hurt, but he didn't succeed in the least, for even he had trouble not to laugh. It's so good to have him back. I can't believe I survived so long without him.

Love,

Ashley


	14. 16 November

16 November

Dear Diary,

Nobody ever told me how hard it is to pick out baby names. Of course most people only have to come up with one name for a boy and one for a girl. We actually have to pick two each! Okay, I admit me and Andros already agreed on two boy names and one girl name, but what if these two are both girls? We just can't seem to come up with a second girl name that we both agree to, sometimes we're even so desperate we call a name we don't even like ourselves. I know Cassie and the other girls are all more than willing to help us out, but I want us to come up with names ourselves. It makes it even more special. I'm sure any mother knows what I mean. To look at your child, a part of you, imagine that child carrying the name someone else came up with. I would feel like a part of that child is not yours anymore. For when you pick the name for your child yourself, that name is a part of you, like it will be part of your child. When someone else comes up with the name, that name will be part of that person, so when you give your child that name, you'd lose that part of your child. That part won't be yours. Okay, I know that sounds silly, but that what it feels like to me and I just can't put it into words any other way. Nothing much happened this day, by the way. Just the normal routine. Carlos still isn't talking to me, but hey, I'll survive. I'm sure he'll come round sooner or later, though I hope sooner.

Love,

Ashley


	15. 20 November

20 November

Dear Diary,

I don't believe this! I couldn't be happier at the moment. I visited the doctor again today, just a routine check. Andros went with me of course. I could see the light in his eyes when he looked at the ultra sound. And that was even before they let us hear the heartbeats of the babies. God, why do I have to wait another four months until I can finally take them in my arms and show them just how much I care? It just isn't fair. But I'm not going to dwell on that thought, at least for now, for there is something else I'm going to live towards now. I still can't believe this, but I just have to look at my hand to know it's true: ANDROS AND I ARE ENGAGED! He took me to lunch after our visit to the doctor. We had both taken a day of, so we decided to take a walk through the park not far from the gym. There he sank to his knee and asked me, begging me not to accept if I thought he only did it because of the babies. Of course I accepted, for I know he didn't do it because of the babies. We talked about marriage way before this all started. We told the others when we got back and they were all thrilled, even Carlos congratulated me, though it was kinda reluctantly. It couldn't be he still has that crush on me, could it? If that is so, this whole ordeal is breaking his heart. Damn, do thing really have to become this complicated? I think I'll sit Carlos down for a talk tomorrow.

Love,

Ashley


	16. 21 November

21 November

Dear Diary,

I talked to Jeff today. It was good to hear his voice again. He apologized for not calling me sooner after finding out I was on Earth, but everyone has been so busy lately. Dad and Sarah both have their jobs to think of, not to mention Shannon and Anna. Shannon and Anna both have school and aren't really allowed to make long distance phone calls and Jeff, of course, has college keeping him busy, but now he finally found time to call. He was thrilled at the idea of becoming an uncle and neither he or dad mind me getting pregnant at such a young age. Though he's glad me and Andros are getting married, knowing Andros is willing to take responsibility. I've been able to get him to admit he was waiting for the news I was pregnant, for I knew he was expecting it. I mean, be honest, when living with your boyfriend those thing can be expected. God knows what he and his girlfriend are doing when nobody's looking. You know, scratch that, I don't even WANT to think about it. ANDROS, STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER! A DIARY IS PRIVATE YOU KNOW! Now where was I? Oh yeah, anyway, Jeff told me that when he had been home they had talked about me and my situation. Just like Jeff, Shannon and Anna can't wait to meet their nephews, nieces, nephew and niece, what ever it's going to be, which reminds me, I was still able to give them some news about my pregnancy, since they didn't know it was a twin. Jeff said he would let me tell dad, isn't he the sweetest big brother you've ever met? Like I said, dad is also thrilled that he'll be a grandfather soon. He trusts me completely with what I'm doing. He knows my ages says nothing about the ability of caring for a baby, since I helped out whenever I could with Anna and baby sited both my sisters since I was twelve, though Jeff was there too. Besides that, I'm not the only girl who will be a mother at the age of nineteen, some girls become a mother at an earlier age. I will leave it here, there is so much more I could write, but since Andros can't read over my shoulder he's found some other thing to do; trying to get me to come to bed, saying I should rest. I guess I'll give in to him, since he will continue until I do.

Love,

Ashley


	17. 22 November

22 November

Dear Diary,

I finally sat down to talk things out with Carlos today. At first he didn't want to, but he came round in the end. He told me what was bothering him so much. It's not the fact my relationship with Andros is this serious, though he does still have a slight crush on me. I almost feel sorry for him, but he says it doesn't bother him, he's glad I'm happy. Anyway what is bothering him is that I didn't turn to him when I was in need. I begged him to look at it from my situation. What would he have done in my place? Turn to someone who didn't know about the situation and explain it to that person even if it's too painful, or turn to someone who knows about it and understands my feelings for that person is in on the pain? He said he'd think about it, but I know I got through to him, he just needs to admit it. I hope I have time to sit down and talk to him and the others again soon for the training for the Olympics is getting more and more intense and taking up more and more time and when I'm not coaching I'm sleeping. Being pregnant is taking a lot more out of me than I thought, but I know it will be worth it, especially with Andros and the others by my side to support me and help me though..

Love,

Ashley


	18. 23 November

23 November

Dear Diary,

It took them ten days, but the others finally asked Kim what the hell had been going on and what Trevor has been up to. They just couldn't believe she would get involved with someone like that when she had Tommy, so Kim explained her mother wanted her to date someone who took sports as serious as she did. On a visit she picked out Trevor to take Tommy's place and forced Kim to go on a date with him. At that time Trevor didn't seem to bad, but after that date Kim called me and told me she would never trait Tommy for anyone. After Kim's mom left things started to go bad. Trevor wanted another date with Kim, but she told him she loved Tommy and the only reason she went on that first date was because her mother forced her. Trevor told her he'd get her no matter what. Next thing she knew he was standing at her door with a gun in his hand saying if he couldn't have her nobody could, if she didn't sent Tommy a break up letter, he would kill her. Kim decided it would be better if the last thing Tommy heard of her was a letter telling she was breaking up with him instead of a message she had been killed. If she sent the letter then maybe there was hope she could dump Trevor and go back to Tommy. Trevor told her exactly what to write, gun pointed at her head so she wouldn't try and disobey him. Once the letter was finished he sent it, but things didn't stop there. A week after he had forced her to write the letter he wanted her to sleep with him, but she flatly refused, so he hit her. He could have rapped her if he wanted to, but he wanted her to give herself to him willingly. I don't think I've ever met anyone more sick than that, for he thought if he kept hitting Kim she would give him what he wanted. Renee was the only one who knew of this, besides me. Kim called me not long after she had written the letter and explained everything to me, but I said something stupid without even realising it until it was too late. The wall crumbled and every emotion Kim had kept inside rushed free and needed to be let out. Unfortunately I was the only one around. She started to yell at me and I yelled back. I ended up cutting the connection and only after that I realised what happened. I didn't dare to call Kim, afraid she'd be mad at me and Kim was scared to call me for she feared I'd be mad and we all know how it ended. Trevor never did get what he wanted, Kim was too headstrong for that. Guess having been a ranger did do her some good in that situation, for she didn't dare to fight him, scared she would lose or worse. You should have seen the shocked faces of the other rangers when they heard and I don't think Kim would have been able to tell them that if Tommy hadn't been at her side, giving silent support and comfort. Now that weight is lifted of her shoulders Kim is doing even better at practise then she did before. I really think she'll be able to take home the gold.

Love,

Ashley


	19. 30 November

30 November

Dear Diary,

You won't believe what happened today. The six of us plus Tommy were having dinner in 'our' apartment when the phone rang. Renee answered and visibly paled when the person on the other side identified herself. Her eyes fixed on Kim while she told the person on the other side if she was in. After putting her hand over the mouthpiece of the receiver she whispered to Kim it was her mom and she wanted to talk to her. Kim turned her eyes on Tommy as if asking him what to do and after a reassuring smile she took the receiver from Renee. For an hour the two talked. At some point Kim had started shaking and tears started to roll down her cheeks, so Tommy had sat down on the couch and pulled her onto his lap, holding her securely in his arms. Renee, Karone and Zhane left the room to clean the dishes to give Kim some privacy and me and Andros wanted to go to our room (god, I love saying/writing those words), but Kim signed for us to stay, so we sat down on the other couch, listening to what Kim was saying. After the call ended Kim told me Jeff had called her after talking to me, explaining what had happened with Trevor and everything. She made her excuses for forcing Kim into a relationship with him and hoped she could be forgiven. Of course Kim forgave her, but only on one condition. She would have to stay out of her relationship with Tommy. Kim said her mom had been shocked to hear her and Tommy were back together, but was happy for the two. Seeing Kim so happy that she made up with her mother at last made me miss my own mom, even though I've never really met her. What would she think about her baby girl being pregnant? Would she look forward to being a grandmother or would she have nothing to do with me anymore? I hope that wherever her spirit is now, she's proud of what I've become and how I handled things and I hope she will watch over my children the same way dad always told me she was watching over me. Maybe she's the guardian angel that brought Andros back to me. I guess I'll never know.

Love,

Ashley


	20. 12 December

12 December

Dear Diary,

The Olympics have finally started. I don't have to be present anymore, unless one of the girls requests my presents and then I only have to be there when that girl performs. Okay, now that a lie. I have to be there to keep her relaxed until she has to go and I wait out her turn before leaving, but most girls ask Karone to be present to give me a break. I really need it too. Pregnancy is killing me, my feet hurt, my back aches, I'm am eating for three and having one, maybe both children resting on my bladder isn't really comfortable, but I'm sure that once this is over it will all be worth it. It's just that I can't wait to get home and start relaxing like I should be doing, at least more than I'm doing now. There is one day I'm definitely going to be present and that's when Kim and Renee perform. We already know they'll be performing the same day. After that they'll have a few days rest, which they will mostly use to cheer on their team-mates, but Kim has already told the girls that the first day of that break is already booked, so she can't be present at the games and the same goes for Karone and Renee, for that they we planned to go hunting for a wedding dress. I can't wait. I'm going to rest now, before Andros starts telling me to rest again. I think that's sweet and all, but it gets annoying after a while. Another reason why I can't wait for these two sweethearts to be born.

Love,

Ashley


	21. 14 December

14 December

Dear Diary,

I talked to my dad today. He's been organizing everything for the wedding, since it's going to be in Angel Grove and me and Andros don't really have the time for it. It's the first time I talked to him since I left KO-35. I know, I know, it's crazy, but true. All the communications with my dad have gone through Jeff. Until now. He called to get me up to date and the plans for the wedding, I have to say so far it sounds great. It was hard for me to get anything in, so the first half hour it was a one sided conversation. What he said to turn the conversation into a REAL conversation, I think, will be graphed into my memory. He said; 'But that's not all that important right now. Anyway, how are you?'. Can you believe it? He spent half an hour on the phone talking to me and only then does he decided to ask me how I am. I of course told him I was fine, expect for the facts, well, you know the list. He was silent for a while after the bladder thingy and I could almost see him blink until he got the meaning of the words, so now they know I'm expecting a twin in that house too. He told me he was going to call everyone with the news, so I told him not to bother calling Jeff, since he already knows. My dad clearly pouted when he heard that, but agreed it was his own fault for not making time for me any sooner, so now all I have to do is wait until I can get onto that plane and go home. Yes, you got it right, I'm going home by plane. I know I could ask Deca to teleport me there, but going by plane gives me time to prepare myself to face them. It's not that I'm scared to see them, I can't wait. It's just that it's been so long since I've seen them. I need time to build some walls, so I won't break down at the airport. Well, at least Andros will be there by my side. I can't believe it's been almost half a year since I thought I lost him forever. Let's just hope I'll never have to go through that again.

Love,

Ashley


	22. 20 December

20 December

Dear Diary,

I got the most beautiful wedding dress you can imagine. I can't wait for my wedding day. I can't believe that a month from now I'll be walking down the isle. In two days the gymnastic finals will be held and Kim's in them. The day after that the ending ceremony well be held and that night we're flying to Angel Grove. Since we couldn't get a direct flight we won't be arriving until the morning of 24 December. Lucky us we already bought all our Christmas presents. I can't wait to see everybody again, but first those finals. I really hope Kim will bring home the gold. Oh god, one of the babies is kicking. I've felt them moving around, but this is the first time I actually feel one kicking. Andros is going to be thrilled. Ever since I first felt them moving he's been finding excuses to put his hands on my stomach. I think he's jealous I can feel our children every time they move around and he has to think of an excuse so I'll let him feel. He should know he doesn't need an excuse for that, but I'm not going to tell him that. He's way too cute when he trying to find an excuse. Like now, he just entered the room and I can just see in his eyes. I guess I'll stop writing now.

Love,

Ashley


	23. 22 December

22 December

Dear Dairy,

Oh my god. I can't believe this. Kim actually did win the gold medal. Tommy is so proud and guess what. He has no intention of letting Kim again, so he decided to bind her to him. He proposed!. Of course Kim excepted. She never ever want to leave his side again. She never wants to be in a situation like the one with Trevor again. Kim didn't have to call anyone about her engagement for Tommy asked her the moment she got of stage with all cameras pointed at them. They decided they'll wait with the wedding until Tommy finished college, though I think that will be a while. I do get why they decided to wait, I mean, they've only been back together for just over a month. As much as I hate it my pregnancy prevented me from going to the victory party, luckily Kim understands, she says the heath of these two and me is more important than her party. Andros didn't go to the party either so I wouldn't be too left out. He's such a sweetheart. Just 29 more days and I can call him my husband. I can't wait.

Love,

Ashley


	24. 23 December

23 December

Dear Diary,

We're on the plane to Angel Grove, or rather, the first plane there, seeing we don't have that direct flight. I'm dead tired, so I'll keep it short, just wanted to make one more entry before arriving in Angel Grove. Why? Because I'm afraid with Christmas and then the wedding preparations, I won't have much time left to keep this updated. Anyway, the ending ceremony of the Olympics was beautiful, I wish we could have staid until the end, but we needed to catch this flight, so we left early. ANDROS HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO READ OVER MY SHOULDER? I DON'T CARE YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO ME AND YOU'RE CURIOUS WHAT I'M WRITING! A DIARY IS PRIVATE! GO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW OR SOMETHING. Damn, he's annoying when he does that, but I do love him with all my heart and soul and I can't wait to marry him. Just 28 more days and he'll be mine forever. Okay, now he stopped reading over my shoulder he's telling me to go to sleep. I get why he's telling me, it's almost midnight and I'm practically falling asleep writing, so I better listen to my husband-to-be.

Love,

Ashley


	25. 20 January

20 January

Dear Diary,

I was right. I really didn't have time to write after touching down on Angel Grove Airport. Well, today was my wedding day, finally, I thought it was never going to get here. It was a traditional earth wedding, with a few Karovan costumes. The rings are traditional Karovan. It was a surprise Andros had arranged for me. My dress was a very pale shade of yellow it was almost white and my bouquet was made of red and yellow roses. Of course a veil was a must. Andros was actually wearing a smoking with tie and all. He looked so handsome and now he's all mine. Okay, that sounds pretty egoistic, but it's true. Our wedding was even better than I always dreamed my wedding would be like. Cassie was my maid-of-honour, Karone was bridesmaid and Shannon and Anna were flower-girls. (I couldn't choose between the two, but who can blame me?) Andros had chosen Zhane as his best man. I didn't trust Zhane with the best man speech, but he was actually serious for once. I don't think we'll ever see him like that any time soon, though I did notice him and Karone slipping away for a few minutes during the reception and when they returned Karone was wearing a suspicious ring. I didn't tell Andros yet, but I think he'll soon be calling Zhane his brother-in-law instead of just his brother. It's not my place to tell him anyway. What I would tell him though was that it's nice to hear Karone call me her sister. Well I'm going to turn in now and spent the first night in Andros' arms as his wife. We're staying at my parents' for now and might go on a honeymoon, but not until these to sweethearts are born. Though I don't care about a honeymoon, I know I've always dreamed about one when I was little, but a lot of things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to and I have to admit I couldn't be happier and I wouldn't change a thing. The only dream I've got left to come true will do just that in two short months when I finally give birth to my twin and be able to hold them in my arms at last.

Love,

Ashley


	26. 14 February

14 February

Dear Diary,

Valentines Day! Andros is such a sweetheart, I can't believe how lucky I am to be married to him. He took me out for dinner and a moonlight stroll tonight, though the stroll wasn't too long, since I'm almost eight months pregnant now and walking isn't very easy when your pregnant, especially not when you've just entered your last month. Today Zhane and Karone finally announced their engagement. Cassie asked when the wedding would be. They replied they didn't know and it was up to me. Kim asked why and Karone answered they didn't want me to go into labour at the wedding. Zhane joked it had to be their special day and they couldn't have me stealing the show by given birth to these two. Karone asked me to be her maid-of-honour and of course Zhane decided Andros is going to be his best man, though I don't think he actually had Andros agree with that. We all know Andros is going to do it, if he won't do it for Zhane, he'll surely do it for Karone. They're going to have the wedding on KO-35, where we'll be going back to in a week. I know it's not very smart for a woman in my condition to be travelling, but we really want do go home. Everyone is coming with us, though. They don't want to miss the birth of my babies. Just imagine, in a month I'll finally be able to hold them and show them just how much I love them. Better get some rest now, they're still exhausting me to no end.

Love,

Ashley


	27. 16 March

16 March

Dear Diary,

Not much has happened during the last time I've written and now. We're back on KO-35. Kin Won was happy to welcome us back. The news about my pregnancy had somehow gotten out after Andros left, so no one looked surprised to see me looking like a whale. Oh and of course I forgot to mention these babies are two days late. You might think, what's two days? Well, it's a lot when you're the expecting parent. Andros is going nuts and I can't blame him. The doctor says nothings wrong and it's normal for children to be born early or late, but neither of us can help but worry. Why can't my babies just be born? Don't they understand I want to hold them so badly? Okay, stupid question, but hey, that's what you get when you're dealing with a frustrated parent. Okay, so technically I'm not a parent yet, but who cares about details? I know I don't. Dad says I was five days late, so there's nothing to worry about and that's probably the only thing keeping both me and Andros sane. Now, let's just hope our babies are born soon before I lose my mind.

Love,

Ashley


	28. 23 March

23 March

Dear Diary,

Okay, now I'm really worried and I'm not the only one. It's been nine days and I'm carrying my twin. Andros is slowly freaking out. What if something's wrong with the twin and nobody noticed it? I couldn't take it. The doctors still assure me everything is fine, but who knows. My babies have to be fine. Me and Andros have been though so much during the past nine months, can't anything go our way? Do we always have to pay for our happiness, one way or another? That's not fair, is it? Are we cursed or something? Oh god, what was that? It couldn't be, could it? God, that hurts! I think I'd better call Andros now...


	29. 24 March

24 March

Dear Diary,

This will be my last entry. I'll be too busy to keep a diary. Last night when writing a new entry I finally went into labour and around 1 in the morning on Earth I gave birth to the first of my twin. Seven minutes later the baby was joined by its twin. My father is so proud of his first two grandchildren and they're so tiny. Andros has been on cloud nine all day. It felt so great to finally hold the two little angels that were created out of so much love. Kim just couldn't get enough of them and neither could Cassie. We've waited so long for them and now their finally here. I still find it hard to believe that 24 hours ago those two were still inside of me. Oh damn, I'm totally forgetting to tell their names, but I can't help it. I guess I've been living on cloud nine with Andros since they were born. Now for their names; my son is named Armin born at 0:56 and my daughter is named Paige born at 1:03. Armin has inherited Andros' eyes and Paige mine and from the little hair they have we concluded it's the other way around with their hair colour. God, I love them so much. Oh, I almost forgot. Zhane and Karone decided to get married next week, so everyone is going to stay on KO-35 until then. Right now, I don't think anything could ever go wrong again, I'm probably wrong, but let's just hope I'm not for the sake of my son and daughter.

All my love,

Ashley


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